For New Year’s Day, you may have written a list of resolutions of how this year will be different. But as the holiday festivities give way to life’s challenges, you might find yourself snowed under again by the things you had hoped would change. Why?
You might be trying to solve problems with the same energy that created them. You feel unhappy, so you want things to change. But wanting is the source of your unhappiness, because it comes from a sense of lack. When you want what is right here and now to be different than it is, you are resisting the moment in some way. You rob yourself of the fullness of life, as it is. Wanting comes from a place within you that feels broken and separate from the universe.
But in truth, you are always connected to and a part of a loving universe. You are always loved and never alone. In that understanding, you come into contact with your wholeness, your worth, your goodness, your ability to make real and lasting changes.
Your personal will, driven by wanting, is limited in its potency. It is manufactured by your ego, which is divided from the whole. A true and lasting resolve comes from clarity, free from wanting and rooted in the knowing that the universe has your back.
Your ego may say that if you stop wanting, you will be stuck right here forever in this unhappy place. But the opposite is true. By letting go of wanting, you step into your sense of being interconnected with the whole. From this place you touch your deepest joy, which is the universe’s joy. When you contact your joy, not only are you in touch with the whole of the universe, but you tap into its infinite support and resources to realize your true magnificence.
So I invite you to do a little experiment. See if you can begin to notice wanting in your life. When you notice you are in wanting, gently remind yourself that those thoughts will not lead to lasting joy. Through they may appear real and tempting, think of them a bit like white sugar – momentarily sweet, but made of empty calories with no lasting nourishment. As you really get that wanting is a mirage, you will no longer give it power. It is then that you set the foundation for lasting change.
Resolve Rooted In Joy
You may believe that a million dollars, or a new house or car, or a new lover, will bring you happiness, and feel resolved that this new year you will manifest accordingly. But if these are not an expression of your deepest joy
, the universe may not support them coming to pass, no matter how hard you try. The universe is compassionate, and compassion comes in many ways. One of them is in giving you not what you want, but what you need.
As you consider your resolutions for this year, find a quiet place to go within yourself
. Take a few deep breaths, and become present with what is.
See if you can move beyond the habitual thoughts you may have about yourself and what you think you want. You may for example be wishing for more love in your life, and resolve to make that happen this year. But have you taken the time to touch the ways in which you don't believe this to be possible? Can you love even the disbelief, and in so doing open a gateway to new possibilities?
Similarly, witness the disbelief or wanting that may underlie other resolutions. If you resolve to make more money this year, is there part of you that believes you don’t deserve more abundance? Or do you conversely find that you deserve more, and feel in some ways indignant that you don’t have it? Can you focus on the ways in which your life is already rich? By feeling abundant and grateful in this place of inner richness, you will draw more richness into your life.
If you resolve to make a big change like quitting smoking or losing weight, is there part of you that is not yet open, ready and willing to change? Are you willing to touch that resistance, that fear, that sense of unworthiness, even self-loathing, that may keep you holding on to that which you know feels unhappy? Are you willing to see yourself as the being of light that you are now and in turn draw light into your life?
If you resolve to do something like learn a new language, run a marathon, start meditating
or even go to yoga class every day, is that intention coming from a place of rooted joy, or from a vague and ungrounded sense that it would somehow make you “better”? There is nothing wrong with the joy in learning, growing, and accomplishing new feats. But if it comes from a feeling of being unloved as you are now, then you become at odds with what is. Double check to make sure that the tasks you undertake come from your effervescent joy, rather than an idea of happiness.
As you check in with yourself, use your body as a guide. A resolve that comes from wanting will only feel partially complete. You may feel it for example mostly in your head, or in your belly. But a resolve that comes from your deepest joy will feel rooted, vital and expansive. You will feel it though your whole body. It will resonate in your toes, through your spine, in your fingertips… all over! Stay there. As often as possible, feel that wholeness. Feel the joy in that reality. Be that reality. In going there, and by getting out of the way of wanting it all to look a certain way according to your ego, your resolve flowers in more beautiful ways than you can imagine.
Please give these suggestions a try and see if you find yourself naturally and easily making changes in your life this year. You are worth it!