Much anxiety surrounds the topic of sexuality. It arouses all sorts of intense emotions in people: jealousy, lust, obsession, guilt, insecurity, excitement, and so forth. There is good reason for this since sexual energy
is indeed powerful energy—the energy that gives rise to and sustains life. Your life came into being through this energy. You were born from this energy, and this energy continues to sustain you through every moment of your life.
In the human energy system, this energy is centered in the first chakra
, located at your perineum, and in the second chakras, just below your belly button. Both of your parents contributed energy from these areas when sperm and egg came together to create your life. When you first developed as a fetus in your birth mother’s womb, you received a constant flow of life energy as you grew within her second chakra
. When you were ready to be born, you passed through your mother’s first chakra
, a kind of gate leading from one world into another. At that moment, you became an autonomous being for the first time, no longer dependent on your mother’s body for nutrients and oxygen.
Thus, sexual energy is a miraculous form of energy, injecting the spark of life into matter. So why then does sexuality invoke so much anxiety? Since sexual energy is so powerful, our nervousness about it is understandable to a degree. Just like any kind of power, it can be misused and abused. But shying away from it is like denying ourselves the basic joy of life. So, the secret is to know how to use this energy mindfully and with full awareness of its consequences.
Sex Merges Energy Systems
When two people come together sexually, they are joining two energy systems
together. This can be an extremely beautiful experience as they feel the ecstasy of merging as one. In a way, this is akin to the experience of enlightenment, where one experiences unity with all the cosmos. Unfortunately, however, this joyous experience may turn into one that is terribly painful if selfishness and egotism take hold of it. For example, the feeling of unity with another can turn into feelings of possessiveness, jealously, or obsession that ruin the relationship. Or, a person might become addicted to the physical sensation of sex and lose sight of the needs of the other person that is involved, only using them for physical gratification. To truly enjoy sexuality, the heart and the soul must be involved, too, not just the physical aspect of the person.
Because sexuality can lead to pain, many people have become closed down regarding sex, and they avoid the topic or develop prudish attitudes about it. Some of these ideas about sex are transmitted to us through our cultures, and others we develop through our own negative experiences with sex. I encourage you to examine any negative preconceptions you hold about sex and learn to see it as a natural and normal part of life, just like breathing, eating, and digestion.
A Healthy Relationship with Sex
To develop a healthy relationship
with sex, start to see it as a very profound and important exchange of life energy with another person. Just like you wouldn’t want to pollute the water you drink, you shouldn’t want to engage in energetically polluted sex. Purifying sex means opening your heart, communicating mindfully and openly, and letting go of attachments and selfish habits that cause mental and emotional pain for yourself or others. In some ways, that is not easy, but it can also be a wonderful way to grow your soul
Proper relation to sexuality is an important part of creating a spiritual society
here on Earth. Trying to become a celibate is admirable for some on certain spiritual paths, but for most people that is neither realistic nor desirable. Sex is a normal and important part of life, and it can be a fulfilling way to grow one’s soul, too, if you are willing to focus on truly and fully opening your heart and mind.