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Embracing Your Shadow Self and Its Hidden Gifts: 4 Tips

Embracing Your Shadow Self and Its Hidden Gifts 4 Tips
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In life, we all carry bits and pieces within us that we might not be so happy about—doubts, fears, maybe even guilt or shame. These bits and pieces are what make up our "shadow self." This shadow self hides in the corners of our minds, the parts we'd rather keep in the dark. But if we want a happy and fulfilled life, we need to embrace our shadow self, rather than pushing it aside or denying its existence. When we accept every part of who we are, even the ones we might not love at first glance, we make space for insight, compassion and healing, and ultimately, the capacity to live the full life we deserve.

Where does the shadow self come from?

From the very start, society nudges us towards fitting into a certain mold, encouraging us to behave in ways deemed acceptable. Whether it's our parents, our friends, or the wider world, we're taught to bury feelings and traits that don't align with the norm. It's instinctual; seeking approval has been ingrained in us for survival. We may also have experienced trauma, and the self-protective defense mechanisms we used to cope become deeply wired into our thought and emotional patterns. It even runs deeper than just what you’ve experienced in your lifetime; these things can come from your ancestors, passed down over many generations. It's no wonder we shy away from anything that might threaten our sense of belonging and safety.

Yet, there's healing to be found in those shadowy corners.

Embracing your shadow is like unlocking a hidden treasure within yourself. By facing it head-on, you set those imprisoned parts of yourself free from the chains of shame. Suddenly, you have access to their wisdom, their power, their beauty. But it requires a fundamental shift in perspective—a shift in how you see yourself, your shadow, and the world around you. It's not just about building a thicker skin or shutting away those uncomfortable parts; it's about uncovering the beauty and intelligence that lie beneath.

Here are some thoughts on how to embrace your shadow self and discover its gifts:


1. Become curious.
Start by cultivating curiosity about yourself and your experiences. Pay attention to recurring patterns and themes in your life and notice how certain emotions or behaviors seem to resurface again and again. By becoming aware of these patterns, you can begin to understand the influence of your shadow self. Take the time to observe your thoughts and reactions without judgment. The more you tune into your inner workings, the more you'll uncover about the hidden aspects of yourself.

2. Practice compassion toward yourself.
Recognize that having a shadow self is a universal experience. It's just part of being human, and you're not broken or flawed because of it. Instead of seeing your shadow as something to be fixed, approach it with gentleness and kindness. Create a nurturing environment for exploration and acceptance and consider the challenges you face as opportunities for growth.

3. Work with your mind-body system.
Explore practices that emphasize the link between your mind and body, like mindfulness and energy work. Methods like those taught in the Change Your Energy Premium Membership help you become more aware of your inner self while maintaining a sense of stability. By regulating your nervous system, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed or triggered, which might otherwise tempt you to avoid confronting your shadow self. Through these practices, you can move energy and release any shame or guilt linked to acknowledging these concealed aspects of yourself. This opens a path to clarity on how to steer your life with deeper insight and direction.

4. Connect to your true self.
Take time to connect with your true essence, the part of you that remains untouched by life's experiences and emotions. This core self is like a steady flame that continues to burn brightly, even when shadows loom around it. The more you align with this inner essence, the less power your shadow self holds over you. Instead of identifying solely with your shadow, you'll begin to see it from a place of unconditional love and acceptance, like a parent gazing at their newborn baby; despite the messiness and imperfections, all they feel is pure love. This might sound abstract, but it becomes tangible when you allow yourself to experience it firsthand. By connecting with your true self, you can cultivate a sense of peace and wholeness that transcends the influence of your shadow.


In the end, accepting and embracing our shadow self is a journey worth taking. It's not always straightforward or simple, but the rewards are immense. By making peace with these hidden aspects of ourselves, we liberate ourselves from the burden of judgment and open up space for genuine self-love. The result is a life enriched with inner peace, a deeper connection to our innate wisdom, and a profound sense of wholeness. May you embark on this journey with courage and curiosity, and in doing so, discover the truest essence of yourself.

If you’re ready to experience your self-healing power, consider a Change Your Energy Premium Membership. It includes courses like Yoga for Emotional Release and Love Your Shadow Self, plus hundreds more to help you improve your health and happiness. First-time users can try it free for 15 days. Learn more here.

Written by Kris Washington-Carroll
Kris is a loving, creative soul with a deep personal healing story. Mindbody practices, energy work and meditation changed her life back in 2006, and today, she’s inspired to share these tools with as many people as possible to help them live happier, healthier lives. In addition to writing, teaching, and coaching, Kris is also a visual artist with a passion for using art to uplift, inspire, heal and transform.
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