If you find yourself alone this Valentine’s Day, don’t look at yourself as a zero. Find your Zero Point, and become your own true love.
The biggest determining factor of self-esteem is not whether someone else loves you. It is if you are able to truly love the person you see in the well lit mirror.
The Zero Point
, according to Ilchi Lee, is that point from where we can view ourselves from a pure state of perception, without the filters of other people’s observations.
Being alone can be a gift in disguise. Whether you are alone because you’ve just broken up with a love, are too busy for a relationship or are simply enjoying your singlehood, solitude offers an opportunity to assess and nurture your true self.
We don’t have this opportunity when we are involved in a relationship. Because two people sharing energy involves a certain degree of mirroring, our self-image is not a pure reflection of our self when we are in a relationship. It will always be filtered, somewhat distorted, through the lens of how the other person sees us.
Viewing yourself from the Zero Point gives you the unique vantage point of seeing yourself as only yourself, free of shadows and judgment.
When we are absolutely okay with being alone, we change from merely coping with loneliness to thriving on solitude. Learning to be self-sufficient, productive and content with our own company is a valuable life skill.
Here are some lighthearted ways to enjoy your own company on Valentine’s Day.
Treat Yo' Self
Spend the time and money you would have spent on your Valentine on yourself instead.
Buy yourself something you don’t need, but really would like. Extravagant paper bowls. An outrageous toothbrush holder. Rhinestone studded gardening glove. A sock monkey teapot cozy. You get the idea.
Make Your Move
Un-feng shui your bedroom. Rearrange your furniture any way you like, even if it means moving your mini fridge next to your nightstand and dedicating your entire top dresser drawer to your favorite snacks.
Make it an Anti-Valentine’s Day
Wear blue. Draw triangles and color them green. Go see an action/horror flick. Buy vanilla instead of chocolate.
Be Politically Incorrect
Call your best friend and talk as loud, laugh as hard, and say as many inappropriate things as you want. No one is around to overhear you!
Be a Bleeding (Sweet) Heart
Donate blood. Nothing cures social isolation like being of service to others.
Instead of a Stud, Be a Dud
Do something you know your honey, if you had one, would disapprove. Watch a bunch of horror movies or chick flicks in a row, play with your army men or Barbie doll collection, listen to bad 80s rock all day long.
Drive Your Blues Away
Take yourself on a mini road trip. Visit an out of the way town, collect rocks, stop in for lunch at an old tavern.
Go on an Awkward Date (with Yourself)
Attend a lecture on a topic no date would ever understand: Civil War stamp collecting, Star Trek spaceship coordinates, alien abductions in Bigfoot territory.
Do nothing. Make it a day of you and you. Spend the day not thinking, not doing, not worrying about anything. You don’t have to make that To-Do list, set goals, finish that book or write that email. Just breathe, lay around, take a walk, listen to the birds sing and get in touch with your soul.
This year, if you find yourself alone, be your own valentine. After all, if you can’t enjoy your own company, how can you expect another to ask you to “Be Mine?”
The better practiced you are at spending time alone, the more easily you’ll relate to others out in the world, because you won’t be as needy for others’ company. Think about that next time you’re pointing Cupid’s arrow away from yourself.