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Good Relationships Start With Yourself

Good Relationships Start With Yourself
We love them and we hate them. As social beings, humans crave relationships. Through our relationships, we support each other and create more than we could ever do on our own. We learn from each other and express ourselves with each other.

Yet relationships are one of our greatest sources of agony. There are so many emotions involved in relationships. Our lives are already an emotional roller coaster. Relationships raise the hills and lower the valleys of the roller coaster tenfold. In the throes of our relationships, we easily get caught up in our emotions and lose touch with ourselves.

However, the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. If we do not have a good relationship with ourselves, as most people know, everything else in our lives becomes skewed and sour. Our perception of the world becomes jaded, and we lack the resources to give and share with others.

To have a good relationship with yourself, give yourself what you naturally want to give to your dearest loved one, whether it’s love, understanding, or forgiveness. When you are filled to overflowing, you can share those things with others easily. In fact, they will flock to you, instinctively sensing the self-assurance and love that will naturally radiate from you.

One of the most important things to give yourself is good communication. That’s hard to do if you have a lot of inner turmoil, especially from your relationships. Before you can communicate with yourself, you have to make your energy emotion-free. When your energy is emotion-free, it’s pure and clear like a clean glass of water.

Bathe yourself free of emotions with breathing and meditation. If you have too much dirt, it will probably be difficult to sit still and breathe. Instead, move your body. Do yoga or tai chi, or simply vibrate your body until you mind and emotions quiet. The more thoughts or emotions you have, the more vigorously or strongly you should move to let them go.

When you feel more calm and clear, engage in natural breathing while you focus on your breath. With time, your breathing will deepen; your breaths will become longer and they will come from your lower abdomen rather than your chest or throat.

Concentrating on your breath is a simple way to connect your consciousness to your body and energy. It is a connecting point between body, mind, and spirit. This connection is a simple form of communication.

Once you make this connection, you can communicate with yourself more conventionally—with your voice. Give yourself positive messages. They will wake up your brain and make your mind bright and active. The most important positive message is, “I love you.” You can also add, “Thank you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

Finally, one of the most important aspects of communication is listening. Everyone has their own inner wisdom. When you are calm, still, and quiet, it’s easier to hear this wisdom. You can simply listen to what intuition comes to you, or you can ask yourself, your brain, direct questions and listen for the answers. If you trust that they will, your answers will come.

By creating a close and loving relationship with yourself, you will live with a sense of inner security that will allow you to be open, intimate, and loving with other people without being dependent on them for love and energy. You can give love freely without attachment when you know that you already have all the love you need inside. Get in touch with that love every day and you will never run out.

Love and communication are key essentials for healthy and empowering relationships.
Written by Ilchi Lee
A visionary, educator, author, and founder of ChangeYourEnergy.com, Ilchi Lee has spent nearly three decades helping people create better lives for themselves. Lee has created Body & Brain Yoga, Brain Education, and hundreds of other wellness programs and methods. A model for the self-improvement he teaches, Ilchi Lee is continually changing and continually creative. Keep up with Ilchi Lee on his blog at http://www.ilchi.com.
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This is a beautiful and inspiring article. Thank you!
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I feel like this applies to all roles in our lives that creates relationships with other human beings. It is so easy to get emotionally involved and lose ourselves completely even as a friend or co-worker.... so I feel like this is such great advice no matter the type of relationship. Self-Love has been so misunderstood as being arrogance or selfishness, but Ilchi Lee makes it clear it is about intention, we love ourselves so we can love others more.
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